November 16, 2010

DRONE CONTROL


NASH IT OUT

    I was just in NYC (to eat my first McRib sandwich in years) and Amar’e Stoudemire clobbered the walls of Madison Square Garden (where they served the McRibs) and I’ve got to say, he looked a little sad. It’s not his fault. Phoenix Suns owner Robert “Lowball” Sarver offered him a raw deal (with unguaranteed years and less cash) to stay in the valley of the sun (and meth-labs). Stoudemire took the comfy offer from the New York Knicks wanting to be holy team captain (only he ended up a co-captain with troll Raymond Felton).
    So now the Knicks have Phoenix’s old coach, Mike D’antoni AND Phoenix’s old forward, and, oh yeah, now the old Nash-to-NY trade rumors have been jostled again and there’s talks of sending HIM to the Knicks if Phoenix can’t prove their playoff worth early. And well, now I’m wondering if Al-Qaeda might be Phoenix Suns supporters. How insulting to have three of the most powerful minds, responsible for taking Phoenix so far in the playoffs only a few scant seasons ago, all working on another team in the East! What the fuck is that!?
    But these are just rumors, made up by greedy mischievous sports journalists and I should just ignore them and swallow the puke in my throat. Aaaaaah. And anyway the Suns have looked great so far this infant season, though caveman Robin Lopez is now injured. Regardless of Wednesday night’s loss to the Miami Heat, the Suns just ran through two top Western teams – the Denver Nuggets and the Los Angeles Lakers – in back-to-back games no less! It’s been a marvelous week for the team. Jason Richardson, literally on flames, helped achieve a team record of 22 three-pointers! Against LA! And Steve Nash got divorced this week! And had his third child on Friday! For lunch! Things are OK in Phoenix! Just please retire a Sun Steve, I don’t want to have to make homemade bombs and blow up Madison Square Garden and US Airway Center because if I can’t have you, no one will.

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